Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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