90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize