planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
