So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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