Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
