I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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