How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
