super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize