What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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