drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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