I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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