think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
