This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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