I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
