nut hugger
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
