I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I had your ass I would rule the world
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
