After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
