Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
