You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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