I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
