I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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