Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
