the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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