if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
