We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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