I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
