I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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