got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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