Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
