yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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