dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Success! We fucked roommates!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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