do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
