fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
