i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
