I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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