I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
