Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
