She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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