Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize