I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
third nipple confirmed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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