you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
