I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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