Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
