Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Shame is for Republicans.
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