He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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