This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
