If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
