The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
