I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
