he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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