And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
