I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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