Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
