if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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