She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
