So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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