And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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